Ceylan Fan—Jiv Johnson
The New People’s Cinema Club zine was originally intended to be a catalogue, but I ended up last-minute asking writers for short pieces “about film, or mentioning a film, e.g., getting fingered while watching Pierrot le fou etc….” I was thinking about how so much of the excitement people have for film is connected to this impressionistic sense, in memory, of how your life was mapped to different films, to some sense of becoming an adult, transgressing, doing something your parents/ “normal kids” wouldn’t understand, in this ridiculously narcissistic but also very sweet and sincere process of identity-formation through art. Like, the idea of this festival (transgressive/outsider/etc.) film is really part of that…Anyway, I loved so much this short story by Jiv Johnson (our accountant), which so amazingly captures that moment of adolescent cinephilia without being afraid of being cringe.
***
In the dorm room. Target Room Essentials blanket. I am flirting. What do you want to watch. What’s your favorite movie. It’s like a fairytale. Marianne comes up to my shoulder and I come up to the average man’s shoulder. My Xbox and Smart TV emit the only light in the room.
We are freshmen. I have been so cool since high school. I bring up Once Upon a Time in Anatolia, by Nuri Bilge Ceylan. I feel interesting. We met on Tinder today. Marianne has scars on her face from a dog bite when she was four. She is still hot. Hey Marianne. This movie is so good. I watched it in high school. Our faces are little full moons. Why do you like Turkish directors when you’re from Appalachia? I’m Turkish—just kidding. Do you really want me to explain? Yes. Really? Yes. I click the green A on my controller. Pause.
Because, Marianne, I think—it might be hard to explain. You know how, like, growing up, everything we consume here, by here, I mean—the United States—like all art is just upstream from some personal subtext. There’s nothing, like, “classical” about anything. Everything has to be relatable to someone, some group, some individual. Every new book talks about digital age boredom. All my favorite authors are addicted to the same benzos as me. What happened to major pieces of art about everyone? About humans? You know? Homer wasn’t a king. He never saw war. More recently: Emily Brontë. Emily was as social as a rock. She fell in love, at a maximum, zero times. But there’s Catherine. There’s Heathcliff. Cinema has, in my opinion, never had creators like these. The best solution, I think, is to get into films from cultures you know nothing about. If you’re detached, if you’re—like totally alien. It mimics the feeling. The feeling of something being universal. I like this movie. I also like most Ceylan movies. Besides that? My favorite films are from the James Bond franchise. I think this Ceylan film is amazing: it really spoke to me when I was 13. Something about our general conditions being unknowable—you know? Truth being abstracted and continually changing. At the core, this is a detective murder mystery. That’s all, really. It’s just a genre piece. But, as someone detached, linguistically and culturally: it’s more. Anyway, I’m sorry. I was diagnosed with autism at eleven. Actually, I’m kidding.
Have you ever seen Rushmore. Yes. You’re like Max, from Rushmore. Not literally. Like, you’re sexually attractive. Max is 15 in that movie. Yes. Okay. Okay. It’s like a fairy tale. Halfway through Once Upon a Time in Anatolia we start to kiss. My favorite scene is on. Pause. Marianne tells me about her film class. About how she’s already watched all the films. Oh. It’s so late now. Many pauses. Everything is so long. Should’ve picked Kung Fu Hustle. The ending of Once Upon a Time in Anatolia is very important to my point. Important dialogue involving both authenticity and—in the top right of the television, a pop-up.
GuerillaRadio43 invites you to a party. Again, GuerillaRadio43 invites you. GuerillaRadio43 has sent you a voice message. GuerillaRadio43 has sent you a message. I’m sorry Marianne. I need to open this—that’s my friend. He’s being annoying. I am so horny. I open the message from GR43 on the big screen:
did u fuck that art ho yet also r we playin halo 3 later or no